So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
