He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
