Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
