OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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