I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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