She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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