is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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