Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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