I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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