you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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