I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
