she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
