At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
