It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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