I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
