Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
