my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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