There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We're hate flirting, damnit.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
