I think my fart just growled at me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize