it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
