I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
