i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
