i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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