I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
