Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
