I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
