they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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