i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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