You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
