The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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