I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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