peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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