And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
