You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.