I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
