foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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