Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
