Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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