You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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