Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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