highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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