Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
