all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
