im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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