did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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