Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
