Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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