My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize