You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i think i have herpe
just one?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
