Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
