omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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