if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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