O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize