I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
