some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
