So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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