as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
