He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
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the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
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For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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