he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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